All I Didn't Do

Late last night as I was thinking about my "to do" list and the relative lack of progress I had made on it, i.e., thinking about "all I didn't do," I was getting overwhelmed, even depressed.

I didn't make it out to the store, in fact I didn't go anywhere, which let me lounge around all day in my pajamas.

I didn't get my resume modified for teaching.

I didn't complete two chapters in my review of geometry for my CSET II test scheduled for March 13. In fact, I didn't complete the problem set for the chapter I was on the previous day.

I didn't dig out the speech I am going to use in the upcoming Toastmasters International Speech contest or modify it so that it is appropriately worded for delivery this year.

I didn't stick rigorously to my no more than 10% of my calories consumed being fat calories.

What I did do isn't memorable, other than the fact that I must have eaten well, even if I had to prepare it all myself.

Then this morning, I had an epiphany, which has left me feeling rather good about myself. The good feeling wasn't hurt by the fact that I weighed a full 1.5 pounds less this morning than I did yesterday morning even eating like I did yesterday. My epiphany came from really thinking about "all I didn't do" -- not the things not done on my "to do" list, but all the other things I didn't do.

I didn't lash out in anger or frustration at my situation, the demise of the middle-class, the collapse of the economy, the current job market, the party of radical NO or their ineffective opponents, ... and I'm not likely to.

I'm a good person who would rather do constructive things. This resolve and thinking about all the constructive things I CAN do makes me feel better, about myself, about the future. Now to get to them.